yeah, I know
01/28/2003 11:27 p.m.
I know that I was in a relationship not long before he and I ... whatever ... got to know each other. But I was away from it. Totally. He wasn't. I was standing there, waiting for news about this girl. I was standing in freaking line. Waiting. So it doesn't work out with them. Then what? Call my number? Come on, Emily, it's your turn. Step on up. I'm free of her now, sort of. So let's see about us. I don't know. Why am I choosing now to be offended by this? I have no idea. It never hurt me before. Or maybe it did. I'm stupid. I expect that boys I date be new to this. And I come across a boy who has experience - more than I do - and I can't handle that. Even though I've gone through all kinds of crap with boys before him. And I'm still dealing with the after effects of some of that stuff. But somehow, I'm reminded of the fact that there were girls before me and I just can't handle that.

I'm being silly and paranoid and there's really nothing I could do anyway. He could still be in love with her and there wouldn't be a damn thing I could do to change that. So why am I even bothering to be upset? I don't know. I'm a girl.

I need dinner. Does anyone know a place that serves the souls of boys?
I am currently Insecure
I am listening to "Spark" by Tori Amos