growingupstupidparents...
01/25/2003 09:37 p.m.
I don't know. Whatever. I just got off the phone with my parents. Or, actually, I just hung up on my mom. I never do that. I just... couldn't deal with it. I don't know. We were talking about stupid fucking next semester which really isn't even a problem but my parents have to turn it into one. And then Baltimore and Spring Break. Which really shouldn't even be a big deal either but for some reason my parents think I'm still three and must be treated accordingly. I didn't hang up for any of those reasons, though. I made the point that I'm sick of being tied to them in all kinds of ways - mostly financially - and my mom goes into this huge tirade about how I'm obviously not a mature adult. I don't work. I don't do my laundry. I don't clean. I don't drive. And I'm just sitting there going "No shit. I wonder why I don't do these things. You weren't parents who said 'get off your ass and do it yourself.' If I'm lacking things, and I am, it's not entirely my fault." But, no, I'm a baby. I couldn't handle Bob Jones. I don't do anything for myself. And it always comes back to the fact that when I was fifteen, I didn't get my learner's permit for whatever reason and my parents wouldn't let me have a job in high school. I never protested those things at the time but my parents should have. They should have encouraged me, even forced me. That's what parents are there for. To teach their kids to function as adults in the real world. But they didn't. "Well, we can't go back in time, Emily." Yes, I know, I'm aware of that, but we can start now. You can let me grow up now. I can get a job. I can get an apartment next semester. Why is this hard to do? Why do I have to be an eighteen-year-old baby? How am I supposed to be a "mature adult" if they won't LET ME be a mature adult?? I'm confused. I shouldn't have hung up on my mom. For many reasons. The two big ones being, it'll upset her and it probably lessens my chances of going to Baltimore for Spring Break. That second one... I don't know. I figured that if I get a job soon and work long enough and save the money I earn, I'll be able to fly myself up there if that's what this comes to.

I'm going to have to do this on my own. Sorry if any of this didn't make sense. I just needed to get it out somehow. Koye and Tommy are out with Cathy and Jess and Ashley's still driving back from dropping off the cat.

I'm sorry. I need to go call a parent, I think.
I am currently Angry