not sure
01/22/2003 04:09 p.m.
I think I should start with an apology to Simeon. Sorry, I sort of lashed out. Shouldn't have. You were right. Yeah, yeah, Koye and I are forever subject to the logical reasoning of Simeon. So I'm sorry.

I'm not sure how to say what happened because I didn't expect what happened to happen. Did that make sense? I just called, at that point knowing Tommy wasn't there, and determined to work this out. I didn't think it'd work because I was totally convinced that there was no arguing with Koye about this. But I just caved in a way that I hadn't before concerning this situation. And we both sat there acknowledging that we are both to blame. Neither of us come out pristine here. And I apologized and he apologized.

But the big thing for me... the thing that made me cry... he missed me. He said so. He said "I really missed you." That just... floored me. I didn't think he cared at all that we were having problems. But he missed me. I'm not sure he had any idea how much that was weighing on me.

Things aren't going to be perfect. Which sounds normal, but for us, where things have almost ALWAYS been perfect (we've never had to compromise, you know) it's strange. We'll have to deal with a lot (Spring Break visits... we're really going to have to work with those...) But I just wanted him back. I want to tell him things. Anything. Everything. I've missed that. And I want to hear things. So yeah, I think this is a start. A good start.

And we pretty much owe it all to Simeon. So thank you, Sim.

And thank you, Koye. For not closing yourself off to me. I'm glad we're back. I'll overlook previously-written-not-so-nice poems if you assure me they don't still apply. :)
I am currently Amazed
I am listening to the clicking of keys