realizations and stuff
01/17/2003 04:53 p.m.
I really don't have anything to say. I don't really know why I'm even writing in this thing.

I'm going to homecoming tonight. That's good. I'm happy about that. But it's one of those things. I'm a little nervous to go back. People I'd rather not think about will either be in attendance or referenced in conversation. I've been trying not to think about things lately. If some painful thought comes into my mind, I just do a 180 and think of something completely different. It's probably just stalling, but oh well.

And I realized something last night. I went to watch a movie with a friend of mine... a boy. And I'm sitting there on the futon, drinking some... er... Mystic... watching Office Space and I was just struck by sadness. The thought that kept coming to me was like "Have fun, that's fine, but this boy you're with... it isn't him." And I don't even think of this boy in a dating-type way, but the fact that he's a boy reminds me of the fact that my boyfriend is so so far away. It was such a sad thought. But nice in a way. It made me realize just how much I care about him. As much fun as I can have at college with friends, it'll never be as good as if I were with him. I miss him. More than I think I can express to him. Hmm.

I had no idea I was going to write about that. Stream of consciousness, people. I still have an hour before my english class that I must find some way to kill. Lucky me. I'll probably post another journal entry tonight recounting events involved with homecoming. Not that you care.

Happy-Birthday-in-three-days-my-love. :)
I am currently Affectionate
I am listening to a printer... printing.