Babel On!
03/19/2003 01:35 p.m.
I got published in an online journal called Babel Magazine. It's actually my second appearance in the e-zine. The first poem they printed was Bitten which can be found in my Literary Smut folder. The second is the poem I Know I Need to Write a Poem... which I know I have posted here somewhere but I forget which folder it's in. Pretty cool, I'm pretty happy about it. My best friend, Teresa Miller, has gotten a few of her poems published in Babel as well. I'm very proud of her. That's about it for news.
I am currently Content
I am listening to Idlewild

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Back from the Banks
03/17/2003 07:08 a.m.
I just got back today from the Outer Banks. I spent the weekend there with my boyfriend Brian. Not to be confused with the Brian I mention briefly in a previous entry. It just so happens that the last guy I had a relationship with and the man I'm currently with have the same name. lol. We've been together about a month. We had our first date on Valentine's Day. I love him very much and it never ceases to amaze me that he loves me in return. I thank God for bringing him into my life everyday and never take this gift, this love for granted. Its after 2 in the morning and I should be sleeping, I have to be to work by 9, but despite how tired I am, I hate to crawl into bed alone, having spent all weekend sleeping next to Brian, tangled limbs and warm skin. Waking up together with sleepy eyes and bed head, and good morning kisses. I miss him and the nights are the worst.
I am currently Loved
I am listening to Idlewild

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Poetry Happenings and Spoken Word
02/11/2003 07:41 p.m.
A few weeks ago I was in one of my favorite pubs, a place called Mo and O'Malleys. It was a Thursday night, and I was pretty bored. So I was hanging out, drinking pints of Guinness and listening to Don play his usual weekly set of Irish drinking songs and other popular favorites (Why don't we get drunk and screw? Jimmy Buffet anybody?). I don't remember how it happened but somehow I got to talking to Don after his set, idle bullshit chatting. Somehow we got talking about writing and I mentioned that I'm a poet, that I've been trying to work on a novel. He writes poetry too, and he said he'd love to see some of my work, that I should bring some in next time I come in. So of course, next Thursday I did. He said he really liked my work. So now, we've got this sort of exchange going on, I bring in a few pieces for him, we talk about poetry and he's given me a bit of his. He's supposed to email me some of his stuff. I haven't gotten it yet. Much to my dissapointment.

Also my best friend Teresa is getting some of her poetry published in an online mag called Babel Magazine. She sent me the link urging me to submit my stuff as well. So I sent in some pieces, I got a letter back 2 days later with an acceptance and request for more work. I sent them 2 more poems. All total, 5 pieces: Fuck You, Synonyms, I Know I Need to Write a Poem..., Bitten, and Anything, Jason. They accepted them all and said they'd like to see work by me regularly. That was very cool.

And finally in my current news, I went to the Norva in Downtown Norfolk last night to see (THE MAN!!!) Henry Rollins spoken word show. The man is absolutely amazing and so is his show. Anyone who has the opportunity to see him live whether spoken word or musically with Rollins Band should fork up the money for a ticket and strap yourself in for a great time. I can't get over him saying though last night that he's 42 yrs old and that now, partly due to his grueling touring schedule, that the only way he can get chicks is by waving a stack of 20's out the car window and scream "I'm not a cop!" I'm sure this a great exaggeration. The man is so damn hot for one. And I know that the man can out think, out smart, out wit and I'm sure due to his lifestyle of constant touring, always in motion, that he can outlast most guys my age, somewhere in their twenties. And he's got this total aura of confidence about him that he doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks about him. All combined, he's an extremely sexy package. Viva Henry Rollins! I hope he's still out there making music and doing his spoken word shows for years to come.
I am currently Feisty
I am listening to Rollins Band-Nice

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Birthday Girl
02/03/2003 05:03 a.m.
February 2nd, Groundhog Day. It was also Kerry's birthday. She would have been 25 yrs old today. She died 10 and a half years ago, early August of 1992 from complications of her illness, Cystic Fibrosis. It was one month before we would have started our freshman year in high school. 14 and a half years old. So much to offer the world. Spitfire. *smile* I always admired that about her, her fearlessness. She wasn't afraid of speaking her mind, and she wasn't afraid of dying. She was my best friend and she will live on forever in my memory. I was lucky to have known her. Kerry Leigh Walsh 1978-1992.
I am currently Lucky
I am listening to Arab Strap-Cherubs

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Back in town
01/17/2003 08:50 p.m.
Well, here I am back to square one. I moved back home from NY after roughly 3 months. It just wasn't working out for me. It might have been able to stick it out, I'm not sure, but the job sucked (I had to get a part time one to supplement, the weather sucked(too much fucking snow), I had no time to myself to write and no time to see my friends because of my hectic work schedule. All I did was work and grab a few hours of sleep. It's kinda wierd being back home again. Its almost as if nothings changed. Mom's still very much mom, and as usual, on my case from time to time. I started back at my old job this week. I wasn't going to go back there, I was going to look for a completely different job, but they called me last week begging me to come back, so I agreed. Mostly out of laziness. I didn't have to go out looking and I know the ins and outs of their system, no training. I left Va for Ny to get away from all of this and the fact that I'm back exactly where I started is so not lost on me, but at least I can find a bit of twisted humor in the whole situation. The one good thing, maybe, is that I just started seeing someone. He's a grad student at ODU. I really like this guy, although I'm not quite sure how he feels about me. I haven't been doing a lot of writing lately either. I wrote a few in Ny, nothing since i've been back. i'll have to rectify that. I feel the fragments of one nudging my subconscious. Hopefully soon. I've been posting some of my older works lately and created a new folder, literary smut, with some of the more risque pieces. If I can work up the motivation, I hope to start working on my novel again. I haven't since I moved to NY. Its pretty much all plotted out in my head, i just need to do the actual grunt work of getting it all down on paper. Easier said than done of course. I'll get to it eventually, I've just got to get settled down into a new routine of doing things now that I'm back home. *sigh* At least its the weekend and I can temporarily put all the boring, mundane bits of my life on hold and relax. Hopefully I will see Brian tonight, something good to look forward to.
I am currently Jumbled
I am listening to Pedro the Lion-Control

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moving on
09/24/2002 09:11 p.m.
I'm supposed to be moving in less than two weeks to upstate NY. I've got a job waiting, a nice, cheap, little appartment in a somewhat shady neighborhood in the same building as my best friend and the freedom to do as I please.  Still, although I'm excited about the move, I'm also nervous and confused as to whether or not I'm making the right decision.  It's funny to me that for at least a good ten years I've been ranting about how much I hate it here where I grew up and can't wait to get out. Things really aren't so bad here, I have to admit.  I've met some really great people recently and it just figures that that would happen right as I'm ready to leave. It's not as if I'm never coming back, my family is all here, but its not quite the same.  But if I think really hard about it, the pros of moving far outweigh the cons. The catalyst for this move has got to be one of the oldest cliches in the book. I got my heart stomped on by a guy. Not just any guy, a really good guy. I'm not talking good as it being rich, gorgeous, or overly stylish. None of that really matters to me, never has.  Good as in honest and gentlemanly. We went out on one of those dates where everything just clicks. I've never had that happen to me before. I've never been so at ease in someone's presence.  Then this friend of his, decides that after so many years of friendship that she's going to confess this heartfelt love she has for him. He decided to give it a shot with her rather than with me. Oh, straight through the heart. Ouch! That hurt. That wasn't the only reason I decided to move, but it was the final straw in a whole series of events that have built up roughly over the past year.  So, I'm packing up all my shit.  I've got my friends, my appartment and my job working third shift for a bakery.  I like the idea of working through those wee hours of the morning, 11-7 a.m.  In the meantime, I've started work on what I hope will become a novel. The process is painstakingly slow.  I work on it in bits and pieces, go back over them, edit. It's strange for me, working in this arena, I've always written poetry.  Its an interesting challenge, breathing life into characters.  They're like puppets, what will I make them do today? And when I do, will it be believable. Then there's the issue of pacing, gotta keep things interesting. I'm excited about writing this, all the hard work I'm going to have to put forth. This is what I now have to look forward to.
I am currently Reflective
I am listening to Nirvana- In Utero

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Journal Entry
08/23/2002 06:35 p.m.
The tattoo is getting better, I think. Obsessive pretty much seems to sum up how I feel about it. I keep checking it out every twenty or thirty minutes. I keep worrying about the color bleeding out of it and having to go back and get it touched up. The thought of having to go back so soon makes me cringe. It's a fairly large celtic design depicting the goddess Cerridwen often considered the muse of the bards. I'd been wanting this for nearly four years.

Work is blah, as usual. The weeks been slow, as was last week and my paycheck is going to be somewhat anemic because of it. gggrrrr! I hate being broke all the time. It's going to be a stretch paying the bills this month.

The only thing possibly worth looking forward to is going to the pub tonight or maybe sometime this weekend. Hopefully I'll see Justin again. A very hot guy visiting here for the next three weeks from England. London specifically. I met him Tuesday night. He walked into the bar and I practicallly started salivating. Immediately I told myself, "don't even think about it Amanda, quit torturing yourself, he's not for you." But somehow we started talking and ended closing the bar. I insisted on driving him home. He was going to walk the several blocks to his aunt's house. Somehow it went from innocent hanging out to making out in the front seat of my car for sometime. I got home sometime after four a.m. I've been thinking about him all week. Obsessive. God help me. I get turned on remembering his hands on me and the kisses, lord the kisses. Don't ever believe any of that crap about the British being cold fish and oh so reserved. lol. I can't wait to see him again.
I am currently Obsessive
I am listening to Modest Mouse-Interstate 8

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Journal Entry
08/23/2002 01:40 a.m.
Not sure what I'm doing exactly. I've been in a very unsettled place in my life recently. Trying to figure out what I'm going to do with myself. School hasn't been working out so I've decided to take a break from it. I hate my job working for a corporate cater. Looking for a different arena entirely. So I guess if and when I find a full time job, I'll work for a while and pay off my bills. Someone sent me a link to this site the other day and I decided to check it out and obviously I joined. I figure it will be a good way for me to get back into the swing of things, writing again. The past few months have been void of any creativity. There've been a couple of horrible poems. Nothing really salvagable there. Hopefully this will get the creative juices flowing again. I've been for the most part impressed with the quality of work posted on this site. I'm not saying I'm wonderful or anything, but I've been involved in other online groups ect. for poetry and a lot of the work was terrible. well, I guess I'm going to end this entry. I need to put some bacitracin or some such crap on my back, I got a tattoo (my second) on monday. its fairly large and took nearly four hours to complete. It must be pretty dry, because it's stinging like a (fill in expletive here).
I am currently Unsure
I am listening to the reindeer section-son of evil reindeer

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